I think I’m at one of those points in life where there are going to be big changes. The kind of changes that will make me who I will become. And I’m all different degrees of scared and excited. This is normal. But since I’m not there yet, here’s an update of where I currently stand…

Last week was Valentine’s Day. My first real Valentine’s Day. I slept in a bit that morning while Josh got up early to finish making my gift. It was his idea to do homemade gifts. I gave him a recipe scrapbook of everything I’ve cooked for him. With little memories written in next to each recipe. Josh had made me a canister that said “I love…” on the outside. Inside were countless little pieces of paper, each one stating something he loved about me. It was the best gift I’ve ever received, and I couldn’t help but cry a little. Definitely a happy cry though! Then we got ready and went to Cafe Strudel for brunch. I had the Charles’ bagel and he had the Hangover hashbrowns. We split a cherry strudel. We went home for a bit after that and just relaxed together. Had dinner reservations at M Vista. We got a pot of blooming white tea and curry beef and chicken potstickers for an appetizer. Then I ordered pineapple cashew fried rice and Josh got Bird’s Nest — a fried noodle basket filled with vegetables, chicken, and beef. We were pretty satisfied after that but still went to Nonnah’s for dessert. We got seated at the same table that we were at for my birthday. But they weren’t carrying the tiramisu for Valentine’s. So we got coffees, I got the espresso chocolate torte with ice cream, and Josh got a cake called Chocolate Temptation. We sat there and just talked for a bit. We both felt happy and everything felt just right…the perfect Valentine’s Day. Once we got home we finished watching Unfaithful, a movie we had started the night before. Talk about a mood killer. And with the exception of that and and my getting hit with a migraine right before bed, it truly was a great Valentine’s Day. And I’m so happy that I got to spend it with Josh.

Since then, it’s been back to our usual…trivia at the pub on Monday nights, poker with our friends on Thursday nights. Although I should note last night’s party. One of our friends had a cd release party and did a live set from his living room for all of us. It was really special. He performed very well and was so thankful we all came out. There were even free cds for everyone. Awesome night.

But those were all people I know through Josh. Friends on my end are hard to come by. One of my favorite friends moved back to New York before Christmas. Another stays really busy in Cola. Some friends are back home. My sister always seems preoccupied. My roommates are off doing crazy stuff or I’m hanging out with Josh. And I only have a couple guy friends on my side that have completely different schedules. I’d like to make some new friends of my own. I miss hanging out with Steph and Elle the most. But I do have one friend that’s in the apartment building right next to mine. Only thing is that she just moved here and is out on her own for the first time. She’s never lived on her own and doesn’t really have friends here. I helped her get settled and took her out with me several times just to introduce her to some new people and places. But she still only seems to stick to me. She’s becoming a bit clingy and I’m not sure what to do about it. I just want to push her out of the nest, out of her comfort zone, so she can start making a life of her own and have fun with it.

I’m still trying to do the same but I know I’m getting to where I’m going to be having less fun. Working more. Money issues. Moving. And I feel like less and less of this stuff will be involving my family. They aren’t paying for anything anymore. It will all be on me. I don’t get to see them as often because I’m so busy in a city that’s an hour away. And who knows where I’m moving. I’ll move to the first place I find a job.  And as much as I don’t like this distance that seems to be building between me and my family, I realize that I’m at a place where it’s normal to grow apart.